A quick word on dog poo in France...

Dog poo.

Or "caca de chien" if you want to get french with it.

The stereotype is that it is all over France because people take their dogs everywhere with them (for walks, to dinner, to the post office, while shopping, etc...) and feel no compulsion to pick up after their pooch relieves themself all over the sidewalk.

As is the case with french people nomming on their baguettes while walking around town, this stereotype, alas, is also full of truth.

The GOOD news is that the streets are cleaned a bunch. And most of the poo that I see is off to the side such that the pooch at least had the decency to not create an obstacle course down the direct middle of the sidewalk or street. Usually, that is.

What has blown my mind is that the people who don't seem to own the animals with a sense of "let me do my business over here, slightly out of the way" also seem to be the people who don't own regular dogs. Based on the size of their evidence, there must be people in Lyon who own horses or small elephants....and I just haven't been out at the right time to catch a glimpse.

Because HOLY GUACOMOLE the size of some of these shoe-ruiners!! Have never seen the likes of them in the US. (prob because I haven't lived anywhere where it is conducive to owning a small elephant)

*Side note: I did learn the other day that the legality surrounding this subject seems to vary from city to city - in Lyon, I learned, you could be fined if you are walking your dog and do not have a means by which you could remove your dog's caca if they choose to display it on the sidewalk (a bag, some paper, a handful of leaves, etc). Don't know how often that is enforced, but it's nice to know the fine exists!

**Additional side note: I'm grateful that my frequency of having to pick up Ellie's business has actually decreased here, not because I've become a french person who doesn't care, but because we have a pet friendly stretch of strategic bushes along the Saône, so as long as she hops up under them to handle things I am good to go. (Good job being a little pup who likes fertilizing the bushes, Eleanor Rigby!)

***Another side note: If my dog is a telling sample size, not all of this problem might be the fault of the french poochies and their owners...I think that dogs might just produce more poo here! I don't know if it's the water...or the new food...or so many places that have been marked by other dogs that the body just starts to work in over time in order to produce more to also mark those places...but there's been an increase in poo production from SBERTDOAS on our walks. So maybe french people really do believe in picking up after their animals it's just that they are constantly one bag short for all the poo produced on their walks. I'm sure that's it. ;)

One month on this new roller coaster ride...

One month ago today, Dave and I got on a plane and headed off for our new life in Lyon.

One month ago...
31 days ago...
(I was going to dramatically go into the hours and minutes and seconds, but then I have to somehow figure out time difference stuff, and when we got on the plane, and when we got off the plane, and all the things....so you are saved from some of my drama. Say thank you to the complicatedness of time :) )

I keep expecting to feel what I normally feel about the passage of time - that it is going super fast and super slowly simultaneously.

But as I was pondering this while walking Sweet Baby Eleanor Rigby the Destroyer of all Sadness* this morning, I realized that I'm not feeling that expected dichotomy. Currently I'm feeling that there's no way it has only been a month, that I must have left Cornerstone and we must have left our friends and Memphis and everything we formerly knew (ya see how I throw in the drama?), that that big momentous departure had to have been ages ago. That we've been suspended in this new place - hanging in the "transition phase" of language barriers, of "camping" in our apartment with just our air mattress for furniture, of no set friend group, of no set routines, of figuring out how bills work, of wondering where to buy things we need because Kroger and Target don't exist... - we've been suspended in this new place forever.

I don't know why I feel that way, but it's the truth of how I feel currently.

I'm wondering/hoping/anticipating that the arrival of the shipping container with the rest of our belongings (hopefully this coming Monday or Wednesday!) will help bring some "this is not just an odd transitional floaty stage y'all are in, you really did move here and this is now your life" realness to my mind.

In case you're wondering how I celebrated this one month lunaversary** - I first had a horribly ridiculous meltdown within 15 minutes of being awake; followed by about an hour of watching clips and reading articles about the Duke vs Carolina game that I slept through because it was at 3am and I forgot that we finally have wifi in our home and I may have been able to watch it if I'd set my alarm and found it somewhere online; followed by a very stressful but successful phone call to make a doctor's appointment (more on that in a minute); followed by some MUCH needed time with Jesus. On the lineup for the rest of the day - my three hour French class and a dinner at a pub with some of Dave's coworkers.

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A quick asterisks explanation because I feel their unexplainedness hanging over my head:
* I married Dave and he helped me realize that I had not been calling Ellie by her full name (how horrible of me) and that her full name is actually Sweet Baby Eleanor Rigby the Destroyer of all Sadness. As "SBERTDOAS" is a weird nickname, I've continued to call her Ellie which my husband graciously allows. Her french id tag (which I ordered yesterday - hooray!) will say Eleanor.
** My mom coined the phrase lunaversary when I was in high school because in fact it is not calendarally or astrologically accurate to call a celebration of one month of anything an anniversary. So shout to Robin Prak for that one.
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Several people have told me I should start a blog about our #frenchfords adventures. Their requests reminded me that I did in fact already have a blog and that it was in fact already about experiencing the world....so here I am, typing away :) I cannot promise that this blog will always be very interesting, or very adventurous...since it's mine I will claim the right to be boring and self-reflective and dramatic if I feel the need. Just a disclaimer!

The two things I'll finish with today are the story of my aforementioned phone call to the doctor's office (because I am just proud, not because it's particularly interesting) and a list of things about life here.

The Story.
From the other american couple that moved here at the beginning of January for Dave's company (shout out to Tim and Paula!), we'd received a list of various types of health professionals in the Lyon area who speak English. I needed to make an appointment in order to have a prescription renewed (because who knows how to do that here? not me!), so I google mapped where the few options were and chose the one within a 30 minute walk. I called yesterday and got a message that was in rapid french and all I could figure out was that it contained two alternate phone numbers, but they were spoken so quickly that even with my new knowledge of french numbers (WHICH ARE HARD, BTW), I didn't think I'd be able to get them copied down with repetitive listenings to the message, and even if I did - who knows what the numbers would actually connect me to?? Ah, the adventures of living in a language you don't understand. So I messaged a kind french woman I know to see if she wouldn't mind calling the number at some point to copy down the numbers for me. (Felt SO silly making that request and I told her so - you'll never survive a move like this if you're unwilling to be humble and helpless!) She wasn't available and Paula helped me realize that I'd probably called during lunch hour, so this morning I was ready to try again. The line rang (which in France is actually just slow beeping) and a real live person answered. And our conversation began like this:

Receptionist: Bonjour,
Me: Bonjour, je suis désolé je ne parle pas beaucoup français. Parlez-vous anglais? [Hello, I'm sorry I do not speak good french. Do you speak english?]
Receptionist: Non
Me: J'ai besoin un rendez-vous s'il vous plaît...Je suis américaine mais j'habite à Lyon maintenant [I need to make an appointment please. I am an american but I live in Lyon now]

I won't write out the entire conversation, but the gist of it is that I managed to tell her why I needed the appointment, give her my basic information, confirm that the doctor she told me I'd see can speak english, and confirm that I was understanding the right appointment date. I then immediately texted Dave to tell him what happened and that I felt like vomiting from stress, but that I'd DONE it. (And my supportive husband echoed my pride with his own :) ).

This may not seem like a big deal to you. But I have learned that phone conversations are absolutely the hardest, so I am ridiculously excited about this successful interaction!! And honestly still get a little nervous stomachache while thinking about it because, good night irene, it's stressful.

And I'm such a teacher's pet that part of me wants to run to school and tell my teachers how I did! (but I should probably finish this blog post and do my homework first....)


The List.
this is a list of randomly ordered observations that I've made while living here, of differences - no judgment passed on good or bad (usually)...or of just random things I want to share

- dog poo is everywhere
- the drier has a thing that I pull out after every load and dump the water that it's just sucked out of the clothing down the sink
- related to the above, the washer has some kind of hose that I couldn't understand anything the installation man told me about it so I haven't messed with it. hopefully that continues to go okay
- I get text messages from the phone company about random sales that other stores are having
- the sterotypical image of french people walking around eating baguettes is real life
- the bread here is FLIPPING AMAZING. seriously. the idea of not living near this bread again makes part of me want to fall in love with France and never leave.
- the kiwis we got from the street market two weeks ago are the greatest kiwis I've ever tasted in my life (Dave also felt this way about one of the oranges he had, from the same vendor -- maybe she uses magic to grow her produce)
- I don't know where to buy stuff
- sales don't happen all the time here - there are two sale seasons (one after Christmas and one in the summer) so everybody gotta get everything bought up then
- there are two trees in our apartment left her by the previous tenant that weren't watered for about 5 months. I'm trying to save them. If you have a green thumb, send me your green energy
- the river is still getting higher - I'm interested to witness it's habits here, having lived near the Mississippi for so long
- lots of streets are one way so you only have to look one way before crossing the street
- hot chocolate is made by steaming hot milk and then putting a blob of solid chocolate in it on the end of a popsicle stick. not as sweet, but quite delicious
- I haven't seen milk sold in anything bigger than a liter yet
- lots of things are smaller here: dishwashers, ovens, trash cans, fridges, serving sizes, drink cans, candy servings
- our toilet is in a room all by itself with just a little sink
- most places have "seche serviettes" in the shower room - towel warmers!
- I get a text message from the water company that I'm responsible for checking the water meter and reporting the number to them next week
- sometimes peeing by people happens in public. I've seen multiple parents with young children take them over to bushes, pull their pants down and hold them up so they can pee. I don't know if adults do this too...stay tuned
- numbers from 70-99 are really hard. 70 is soixante-dix which literally means "60-10", and then once you get to 80 it is quatre-vingt which is literally "4-20"...so 99 is quatre-vingt-dix-neuf which is "4-20-19"
- phones don't ring, they beep
- some places charge for plastic bags - I think this is a great idea to encourage people to use reusable bags

....I have many more but I really do need to do my homework (I was distracted by my meltdown this morning, don't worry - normally I don't leave it until this late!) and then grab a bite of lunch from the neighborhood boulangerie (bakery) on my way to class.

We are grateful for technology every day so don't hesitate to message, post, whatsapp, email, skype, snail mail at us! We love you all!

Special hugs from me to anyone who actually made it to the end of this rambling, no order, non important information post - I don't promise that next time will be better. #reallife ;)

Kelly out. Mwah!